KinderPerfect is a pretty easy game. We believe that all work and no play makes mommy hide in a locked closet with chocolate, so we wanted a fun, fast game without complex rules or a million stupid plastic pieces you have to set up. We’re parents and we don’t have time for that.
You may already know the rules for KinderPerfect too. The game is inspired by Cards Against Humanity, so if you’ve already played CAH, you’ll know how to play KinderPerfect. Yet we have our own twist to the game, so read on for more fun.
Grab a few mom and dad friends who share your inappropriate sense of humor. We recommend 4 or more adult players – the more the merrier. Add expectant parents at baby showers or those considering children to prepare them for the realities of modern parenthood.
Kids are optional, depending on your sense of humor and their maturity level. We send our children (8 and 10) to the basement play room during our games as we get a little wild with our innuendos.
We prefer a few bottles of wine, a six-pack of beer, and all the chips we hide from the kids, because why not? We’re adults and game nights are when we unwind from the week’s stress.
But you may want to keep it alcohol-free and munch on kale and rice cakes while sipping fruit and essence infused water – to each their own. Just make sure you don’t run out of whatever you want to eat and drink half-way through the game.
The cards are split up into Question cards (red) and Answer cards (white), and each player should get 10 white cards. You want to shuffle the card deck if its the first time playing the game, and generally anytime you start a new game.
Once each player has 10 white cards, they can read their cards to themselves and try not to giggle when they see answer cards like “Debating cartoon logic” or “Weeping at the sweet sound of silence” or “Pretending to give a damn”. There are also a few blank cards to add your own spice to the game.
Traditionally, at the beginning of each round, a person acts as a “Parent” much like a “Reader” in Cards Against Humanity. They pick a Red Card which is a question card, and read the question to the other players, like “Why does mommy drink?”
Depending on your sobriety and whose kid just ran into the room crying, the question may need to be repeated a few times, and that’s okay. Mommy brain is real and forgetful.
The other players (not the Parent) then look through their cards and pick the single best or funniest Answer card response to the Question card, and then they submit that card, face down, to the Parent.
If the Question card has two parts to answer, like “Pregnancy: The end of ___ and the beginning of ___” each player should draw two additional white Answer cards before choosing the card they play, so they have more options for fun.
Once all the white Answer cards are handed to the Parent, the Parent then reads the Question card and one of the Answer cards. After pausing to let the laughter die down, the Parent repeats the Question and then reads the next Answer card, until all Answer cards are read.
Please don’t let Parents get lazy and just read the Question card once, or worse, skip ahead and read all the Answer cards to themselves before reading them to the group. Half the fun is watching the Parent laugh too hard to even finish reading the cards out loud.
Once the Parent stops laughing at the Answer card, they need to decide which card they liked best, or which made everyone laugh the most, or just because. They are the Parent, and their word is final. Then the Parent hands the winning player the red Question card and everyone else groans and complains that their card was funnier. As if.
This is the best part about playing KinderPerfect, especially at a baby shower or at a family reunion where there are a mix of parent experiences. Cards like “another unflushed toilet” or “explaining your furry kink to the kids” create opportunities to tell stories about modern parenthood that help us all realize that everyone is an imperfect parent.
Seriously, please slow down and enjoy this step. We sometimes get feedback that groups can play through all Kinder Perfect cards in one sitting, which surprises us. We can’t get through a dozen question cards in an hour, we’re having so much fun sharing stories from each round of cards. And who gets more than 2-3 hours away from screaming kids? If you do, please send us your secrets!
After you’ve discussed your cards, gotten more food and drinks, and are ready for the next round, make sure that all the players from the last round add new cards to their hand so they have (at least) 10 cards in their hands. Then its the next Parent’s turn to read a red Question card to the group.
At some point in the evening, either your babysitter will say their done watching your demon spawn or little junior will ruin the night with a screaming fit, and it will be time to end the game. Then you can be all official and count red Question cards to see which player had the most wins, or you can do what we do, and declare everyone a winning parent for getting this far with our loved ones.
If you get tired of playing KinderPerfect by the official rules, or if you want to add spice into your game, you can always try these alternative rules and play the game with a new twist. Got your own cool rules? Tell us so we can add them here.
At any time, if a player isn’t happy with their cards, they can trade in their entire hand of White cards for 10 new cards, but they have to answer the next child’s demand, regardless of whose child it is.
Every round, pick one random White Card from the pile and place it into play. This is best for when there are four or less players to increase the Answer card variety, or when you know your friends too well and want to make it harder for the Parent to choose the same winner every time.
If it is a small group – 6 players or less – you can also submit more than one Answer card to liven up the responses and give the Parent more Answer card options. Be sure to agree as a group before doing this, or you’ll be that parent. You know the one. That one.
At any time, players may discard cards that they don’t understand, but they must confess their ignorance to the group for a quick education. Unless its the Caillou card. Playing an episode of Caillou is strictly forbidden.